WAAARGH THE ORKS! (1990) Chaos Lore

MolotovKraken

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Apr 18, 2024
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STORMBOYZ

Stormboyz are a terrifying phenomenon in Ork society, which is worrying the more traditional Ork warriors. Stormboyz are young Orks full of militaristic fervour. They take great pride in their equipment, even to the extent of polishing their boots! They believe in strict organisation, obedience, discipline, and military prowess. Now, these are all respectable virtues among Orks — except for organisation, obedience, and discipline. Consequently, many traditional Orks think the Stormboyz take themselves too seriously, and often accuse them of “spoilin' da fun.” In Ork society, everything is done for its own sake, including war. Forethought and planning are avoided by most Orks, who would rather not be bogged down by these elements of organisation - some of these duties are delegated to their slaves the Gretchin. Discipline does not need to be carried to extremes; a sharp cuff on the head from the Boss should suffice, Uniforms are all right as long as they leave plenty of scope for self-expression. Above all, fighting is something to be relished and enjoyed; it should not be taken too seriously. As the Orks say, “yer don't wanna go makin’ yer ‘ead hurt over nufink.”

Sadly, the traditional way of the Ork isn’t good enough for many of the Ork youth - they want to rebel. They all want to be alike. They are obsessed with military style and the trivial details of warfare. They are unwilling to follow the good example of the veteran warriors, which is to “just get on wiv it.” Most Orks laugh at the efforts of the Stormboyz, who strut about, shouting orders, drilling, and voluntarily doing what they are told. Whenever the Stormboyz. are out on a route march, a crowd of Squig-chewing veterans : gathers to watch and yell insults, like “‘get Es some mud on yer boots” or “who do you fink you are, stinkin’ ‘oomans!” Other Orks are less amused, and lament the departure from good Orkish ways of doing things. The general consensus is: “der is somefink wrong wiv da yoof of today; we neva dun no drillin’ when I wuz a young’ un, and we nevva done no runnin’ away nyver."

The reality of the Stormboyz is that most of the young Orks who join their ranks are simply going through a phase in their life. Young Orks who have just left the wilds where they were born are aggressive and adventurous. They are eager and impatient to become proper warriors and prove themselves as Da Boyz. After a few years as Stormboyz, most of them grow out of this phase and become battle-hardened veterans. They no longer fall for the glamour of military trappings because they have learned that Orks don’t need regimentation and that the traditional ways of Ork warfare are best. As the veterans say, “Orkses don’t fight in straight lines.” Nevertheless, Stormboyz are a force to be reckoned with. The possibility of well-organised and disciplined Orks honing their military talents to perfection can only fill the universe with dread, The Stormboyz are keen on proving themselves in battle and showing the traditional Orks that they are worthy of more respect. Who knows where this will lead to in the future? One day, there could be an Ork Empire as powerful and awesome as the Imperium, ruled according to the Stormboyz ethic — a thought to make the various races of the universe shudder with fear.

Stormboyz form their own distinct units, and even aspire to a smart, soldierly appearance (or as disapproving elders would have it, “‘goin’ ‘Ooman”’). They wear a relatively standardised uniform of drab colours in camouflage patterns; they also wear steel helmets similar to those worn by the Goffs. Stormboyz are attracted to new cults (especially Chaos cults), and are quick to forsake the old Ork war gods for new blood-thirsty deities. For example, Khome ual is particularly attractive attractive to Stormboyz. They celebrate the blood-god and the martial virtues in regular parades with massed banners, raucous battle songs, and the hammer of marching jackboots.
 
Specialist Castes

Stormboyz are also increasingly adopting the use of back banners, much to the chagrin of their elders, and they adopt clan motifs rendered in a militaristic fashion, sometimes based on runes-of the Chaos Power, Khome. Some clans, such as the Goffs who don’t favour Stormboyz at all - let alone their wearing of back banners - feel that this habit is a terrible flaunting of tradition; an Ork should have to earn the right to wear a back banner as a sign of his status. For the most part, however, this departure from normal Ork etiquette is ignored - everyone knows that the young Stormboyz will grow out of it.
 
All observers agree on this one point - Ork | culture is uncouth. Whether they are Humans who love order and stability, Squats who love honour and tradition, or Eldar who love art and taste, they all look upon Orks as the untamed barbarians of the universe. As for the Orks, they don’t care. They take one look at Humans, * Squats, and Eldar and dismiss them in three words: weak, weeny, and weedy. Orks have Kultur, which is something that these pretentious, haughty races just can’t appreciate.

THE ORK GODS

Orks and the Ork Way are strong and powerful forces in the universe, Orks are a highly successful race; they seem to be able to survive, expand, and prosper almost effortlessly in comparison to struggling humanity. The Ork character, which is strong and virtually invulnerable, has its reflection in the warp in the form of the mighty, belligerent, and boisterous Ork gods. Known Ork gods include two legendary heroic deities commonly called Gork and Mork. An idea of the appearance of the Ork gods can be gained simply by looking at the Ork Titans (known as Gargants); they are constructed in the image of the Ork gods. The Mekboyz who build them work from a vision held within their imagination (usually inspired during times of Waa-Ork). They try to create something that represents the essence of Orkishness in mechanical form.

A Gargant is\consequently both the ultimate war machine and a religious idol. These great machines behave very much like Ork gods - they lumber about, leaving a trail of devastation in their wake. They go exactly where they please, striding from planet to planet, and they never shun a fight. In some myths, the gods are felled and broken into pieces. Then, millions of Orkoids swarm out and put the god back together again. In Ork mythology, the two gods Gork and Mork regularly confront the Powers of Chaos and the gods of the other alien races. Gork and Mork are never defeated, they simply shrug off the blows of the other gods and laugh at them. Then Gork grins, bears his teeth, and lands a mighty blow on the head of his adversary with his gigantic club. Similarly, Mork, the master of low cunning, clobbers his foes when they aren’t looking. It is not surprising that the Ork gods are seen triumphing over Chaos Powers, because in battle, the Ork Weirdboyz triumph over their daemonic and Human servants. Daemons and psykers are frequently laid low by the psychic attacks of the Weirdboyz. The psychic energy of the chanting and stamping Ork warriors can be focused by the Weirdboyz to banish and destroy such vaunted foes. As far as the Orks are concerned, these minions of Chaos have been withered by a blast of pure Orkishness. When the Orks see the terrors of Chaos wilting before their own loveable gibbering Weirdboyz, they lose all fear of the warp, secure in the belief that Orkishness can vanquish anything.
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ORKS AND CHAOS

There is no predilection for Chaos among the Orks; indeed, Orks are much less likely to tum to Chaos than Humans or other races. This is due to the fact that the Ork race is relatively stable and content. There is little psychic stress or angst among the Orks, which leaves virtually no avenue through which Chaos can invade their minds. Some races confuse Orks as being evil and thus synonymous with Chaos. This is a misunderstanding on their part, however. Orks are not inherently evil; neither is Chaos. Likewise, Orks do not naturally or consistently affiliate with the forces of Chaos. Orks simply live by the crude survival-of-the fittest principles that pervade the universe, Warlike civilisations, such as that of the Orks, simply reflect these survivalist principles all the more. By the same token, Chaos is neither good nor evil; it simply mirrors the survivalist emotions of intelligent beings in the real universe. Thus, predatory powers of Chaos, be they deities or daemons, exist because living things generate these emotions.

By analogy, there are gargantuan Ork powers in the warp - powers that are the reflections of the Orks’ cheerfully irresponsible and warlike nature. At the same time, it is possible for Orks to overindulge their taste for militarism and bloodshed, which will ultimately lead them to Khorne. Indeed, Khorne does feed on these aspects of Orkish character; this shows in the very face of Khormne, which has markedly Orkish aspects. Most of their enemies would agree that Orks lack many of the finer qualities found in the various races of the universe. Not surprisingly, Orks have no second thoughts about fighting alongside servants of Chaos, especially in return for pay or loot. Orks are not easily impressed by Chaos, since a typical Ork raider is likely to be exposed to manifestations of Chaos as he rampages about the less orderly parts of the galaxy. He is also less liable to be tempted by lure of Chaos power and sell his soul than many other races. This is in contrast to the unfortunate Humans who live in ratholes of hive worlds or desperately trying to build civilisations in inhospitable environments. These suffer from the stress of day to day survival. They become suspicious of the unknown and begin to look inwardly to find irrational explainations for their problems and misfortunes.

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WAA-ORK

AIthough the Weirdboyz fulfil the role of shamans in Ork society, the real high priests of the Ork gods are the Mekboyz. The Meks stand at the very core of Orkish civilisation, serving as a driving force in contact with the Ork gods. This can be witnessed at the most important event that occurs in Ork society, the time of WaaOrk. Waa-Ork is a spontaneous happening which starts suddenly in obscurity, then gradually gathers momentum. More and more Orks, clans, and tribes become part of the gathering strength of Waa-Ork. In a process that may take up to 300 years to reach its peak, the whole of Orkdom becomes agitated, disturbed, and dynamic. Waa-Ork is an resurgence of Orkdom into the universe, The Waa-Ork is a time when tribes come together, a time of great works, migrations, wars, and conquest. Orks throughout the universe take the war path, and the relentless power of Ork civilisation is unleashed.

At the very core of Waa-Ork lies the construction of the gigantic Titans known as Gargants. Each Gargant is a lowering war machine with awesonte destructive power. It is also a titanic, mechanical, fighting, fire-belching idol built in the image of the Ork gods of war, Gork and Mork. Each Gargant is in itself an act of worship of these primal Ork powers; they are idols of the gods that stand for the essence of all that is Orkish. The Ork gods epitomise the Orkish character on a vast scale, They are big, bumbling, boisterous beings who leave a trail of mayhem in their wake. War, conquest, migration, endless feuds, the din of weapons, and the war cries of countless Orks are but the laughter of Gork and Mork. These gods are crude, simple, and strong. They look upon the Powers of Chaos and grin at them.
 
Mekboy Grusom watched as a thousand captured Humans strained to lift the gun barrel and slide it into place in the Gargant's stomach. He pulled the old painting tight round his shoulders like a cloak and laughed as he surveyed the ruins of former palaces. The Humans had thought they were smart coz they lived in big huts full of animated paintings and dancing statues; well, we showed them better. Now they’re working for us. He whooped and pumped bolter rounds into a collonaded pillar just from high spirits as the vapour trails in the sky announced the arrival of the Space Marines. Gork and Mork knew that they were ready. Their people were agitated and prepared for battle The Emperor, their chosen enemy, had deployed his forces, The first skirmishes had been fought, now war was about to be joined. Beyond them they sensed the Chaos Powers watching, waiting to see what advantage the God-brothers’ actions might bring them. In the darkest pits of creation twisted creatures prepared to follow the Orks’ advance. Gork and Mork did not care. They knew they were strong enough to resist Chaos. The time was right. The time was now. It was time for Gork and Mork to have some fun.

Looking down from the Zep, Ushbek saw roofs covered in a sea of Gretchin faces. An enormous crowd filled the square, looking at the Gargants in awe, Stormboyz mingled with Painboyz. Gretchin merchants sold cheap souvenirs. Cycles roared across the wasteland between Orktown and the building site, In the distance a group of late arrivals trooped into the square led by a tall Madboy with a long staff. Ushbek watched Dragnatz climb up the inset ladder to the Gargant’s head. The crowd waited expectantly. From the cupola, the Mekboyz had the best view in Orktown.

“We did it, hur, hur,” shouted Glug, from his command chair. “Dey’re ready to go.” Ushbek felt his heart swell with pride as he looked down on the Gargants. They loomed over the mob like waiting giants. He remembered that moment long ago when he looked upon the Emperor’s war- machine. The thought of it no longer worried him. They had built something better and more Orky.

The thunder of the crowds voices increased. Sections of the crowd took to chanting. “Ere we go! ‘Ere we go. "Ere we go!” Dragnatz stood atop the Gargant, flanked by his personal bodyguard and made a gesture for silence, An amazing thing happened - the crowd quietened. Ushbek saw Dagnatz raise his bolter. The crowd lifted their own weapons in return. “Well, ladz,” said Dragnatz, his voice carrying easily without any amplification, “We've got our Gargantz an’ we've got our weapons. Wot ain’t we got?”

The crowd leaned forward, straining to hear the answer. “We ain’t got anybody fer target practice, iz wat. So I'll tell yer wot we're gonna do. We're gonna give the Humies a taste of ’ot metal death, is wot. We’s gonna take Big Gork and Big Mork ‘ere an’ we's gonna stomp Humie!” The crowd cheered so hard that Ushbek was surprised their mass exhalation failed to blow the Zep about. He studied Dragnatz carefully. His old Boss seemed transformed and exultant. He beamed out, face lit with boisterous good cheer.

“An” anybody else ’oo gets in our way. Coz we'z Orks. Wot are we?” “We're Orks,” the crowd bellowed back. Ushbek and the rest of the Meks joined in. “Wot are we?” “We're Orks!” “Wot?” “Waa-Ork!””

Dragnatz threw the great tripswitch. The Gargant shuddered to life, The roar of its engines merged with the roar of the crowd. It seemed to Ushbek in that moment that he sensed two vast roaring presences descending from the sky. In a moment of revelation he knew that everyone in that enormous crowd felt the same. For a moment they were all as one, at one with their Gods. “Waa-Ork!” he yelled along with everyone else. Dragnatz gestured for the Gargant to move off. The crowd and their vehicles followed, filling the gaps between the huge war-machines with a host of cycles and Wartraks. The Orks headed towards the waiting ships and their greater destiny. “Ere we go, ‘Ere we go, ‘Ere we go!” They chanted, In the Warp Gork and Mork waited, well pleased. Across the face of a million worlds their children were on the move, a green tide that would topple empires and re-shape the Universe. The Waa-Ork was on the move.
 
Gork struggled towards awareness. After centuries of dormancy it was a long process. He sensed other Powers in the warp trying to interfere. He blocked a subtle tendril from Slaanesh, ignored a baleful warning from the Emperor, discounted the triumphant cry of Khorne. He reached out with his millennia-old mind and gathered the strength of his people. Soon he would be awake and active. A body of steel had been prepared for him. A time of blood and iron was approaching.
 
Space Travel

Millennia ago, a probe was sent out from Terra, its mission to reach the utmost limit of the universe. The Techpriests who built it hoped that it would someday return to its place of origin after circumnavigating the universe. The probe still sends back faint signals after 14,000 years adrift, and hasn’t yet begun ils return voyage (and it’s uncertain if it ever will). To the utter despair of the Imperial Techpriests who monitor the incessant battery of incoming signals, many are identified as Orkish. The depressing conclusion for mankind can only be that wherever they travel in space, there’s a good chance that the Orks will cither have been there first or won't be long in arriving too, Orkish expansion was only made possible in the first place because of their discovery of the principles of force field and teleportation technology. Obviously, such a momentous achievement was the result of pure chance, and in no way due to any specific intention or reasearch on the Orks’ part. Once the technology behind force fields and teleporters was understood, the Orks found them easy to replicate.

Fester of the Blood-Axes gazed through the armourglass window of his spacehulk and wondered how far away the stars were. How many days would it take to walk to them if an Ork could walk in space? c Days? Weeks? Months? Years? The stars glittered coldly but would not answer his questions. The chanting of massed Weirdboyz echoed down the corridors. Soon it would be time for warp jump. The hulk would pass into the space beyond the universe and emerge somewhere else. Hopefully another world for the Blood-Axes to pillage. Not a boring one like the last.

He gazed down at the pitted surface of the dead, airless planet beneath him and spat disgustedly. There had been nothing down there worth taking - only devastated cities and plains of fused glass. The only remotely interesting thing was the mountain carved into the strange rune the human prisoner called the Eye of Horus. That had been a nice bit of work. Fester couldn't understand why the man had been so upset by it. The floor of the hulk vibrated as the Mekboys warmed up the big force field, the one that would protect them from the strange entities of warpspace. Hopefully it would work better than last time; that twisted daemonic thing had killed a hundred of the Boyz before the Weirdboyz manaaged to drive it out. Fester promised himself that if it happened again Mek heads would roll. He wondered whether any of those big humans in the funny powered armour would try and evict them from the hulk in the next system. They were always trying to do that. Fester didn't mind, kicking them out into space was always fun. And the big humans, Vermin-eaters he thought they were called, did know how to fight. Well, about as much as any humie did, he thought, which wasn't much.

A small tug of acceleration sent a thrill through him. They were about to make the jump. Some Stormboyz jogged down the corridor, helmets jammed on, tunics freshly pressed. Ere we go! 'Ere we go! ‘Ere we go!" they shouted. Fester supposed he'd better go and put on his best uniform, The ladz expected a bit of a show from their boss when they arrived in a new place. Whistling tunelessly, Fester made his way to his cabin, leaving the distant lights and their unanswerable questions behind him. As the hulk | made the jump the stars went out.